A Play.

A Play. 

“You Know You are Raising A Toddler When…”


Parent:  Tired, hungry, late for something

Toddler:  Screaming, crying, full booger protruding from left nostril.  Blue paint on the right eyebrow.

Setting:  Every day.  Doesn’t matter.  Could be 9am or 5pm.  

Parent: Hello Honey.  

Toddler: [Inconsolable wailing]

Parent: [Mark all that apply]

I’m sorry, but….

  • You cannot drive the car yet. You are only 2.
  • You cannot go to school with only socks on your hands. You need pants.
  • I will not wear the oven mitts while I change your diaper.
  • I cannot reattach your decapitated Popsicle.
  • You cannot eat all the raindrops.  
  • I can’t make a firetruck appear right at this moment.
  • You cannot let the phone swim in the toilet.
  • You cannot attach stickers to that man’s head. I don’t care that he’s bald.

Parent:  Fine, you can use Mommy’s phone to watch YouTube videos of other kids playing with their toys.  

End Scene.  

Join the conversation @LeahMooreWriter   #mytoddlerdemands

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