A Play.
“You Know You are Raising A Toddler When…”
Characters:
Parent: Tired, hungry, late for something
Toddler: Screaming, crying, full booger protruding from left nostril. Blue paint on the right eyebrow.
Setting: Every day. Doesn’t matter. Could be 9am or 5pm.
Parent: Hello Honey.
Toddler: [Inconsolable wailing]
Parent: [Mark all that apply]
I’m sorry, but….
- You cannot drive the car yet. You are only 2.
- You cannot go to school with only socks on your hands. You need pants.
- I will not wear the oven mitts while I change your diaper.
- I cannot reattach your decapitated Popsicle.
- You cannot eat all the raindrops.
- I can’t make a firetruck appear right at this moment.
- You cannot let the phone swim in the toilet.
- You cannot attach stickers to that man’s head. I don’t care that he’s bald.
Parent: Fine, you can use Mommy’s phone to watch YouTube videos of other kids playing with their toys.
End Scene.
Join the conversation @LeahMooreWriter #mytoddlerdemands
